My Twin Flame is a Ghost, but just who is JE?

[i am a medium. i channel the dead. my twin flame is a man who i believe may have been my childhood best friend, JE. he may have died tragically in a car accident at the age of four. i say "may" because, the truth is i do not know for sure what happened to JE. i was so very, very young and my memory of what became of him is practically non-existent. i just remember he was suddenly out of my life and as a child, i was very confused and hurt about it. i never forgot him and always referred to him when in conversation with friends and family. but as i grew up, whenever i asked my mother about him, her response was an amalgam of bizarre and conflicting stories. she would often tell me that no such person ever existed in the first place. other times, she would say he had existed but that his name was JO. and still others, she would insist that he was a she and that it was, in fact, a girl i was currently attending school with.

this matter has become so important to me because over the years, throughout my adulthood, i have become very close with an entity on the other side who goes by the name JE. and claims to be my old childhood friend. this ghost and i have become best friends over the time i have known him. i speak with him everyday and he assists me in a variety of aspects of my life. he is indispensable to me; his love, his companionship, his support. i've never met anyone whom i have loved so deeply, living or dead. but the truth of not being able to confirm his identity is breaking me in half. i have to know if he is indeed my little friend from preschool, JE. also, there is some question as to whether or not JE. is the real life brother of a man who i dated in college. i will call that man JA. i've been desperate to speak with JA., so i can ask him if he ever had a brother named JE. who passed away as a young child. sadly, that avenue has been blocked from me. so, finally i consulted an independent medium on the matter. the following is my portion of an ongoing conversation i am having with that medium].


[dear Y.,] the one who i showed you the picture of, the one called JA, decided to not accept my friend request on facebook. further, after i sent the request, he blocked me! it really hurt my feelings and i don't understand why he had to be so rude. when we dated all those years ago - he's the one who dumped me after cheating on me! so i'm not sure why he would still want to exclude me from his life. it's not like i was the one who broke his heart. :(

JE., his possible brother on the other side, and i still communicate daily. he is still just as loving to me. i've been trying to work up the courage to ask another medium about his identity, whether or not he is JA.'s brother [Y. had been able to confirm several aspects of JE.'s identity except for whether or not he was JA.'s brother. on that matter, she could get nothing either way]. i spoke to a professional medium several months ago before you and i communicated, and her response was mixed and confusing. at first, she said they were not brothers, then she kept referring to them as brothers, and then finally she said, "it's up to you." she suggested i "test" him by pulling away from the relationship, if he is truly my childhood friend, then he will not begrudge me this and will let me have my space. if it is not JE., but someone masquerading as him, she said, he will get upset and try to cling on to you. so i followed her advice and JE. allowed me to pull away peacefully without any resistance. he said he would not try to force a connection if i didn't want one. so i felt that pretty much told me it must be JE. according to her advice. he is very gentle and loving to me. so unlike JA.

still, i wish i could get some objective confirmation that the two are brothers. the JE. of my childhood disappeared from my life when we were both very young and i can not remember his last name. my mother will not tell me. to make matters worse, i'm not even one hundred percent certain that JE., my childhood friend, died at all! i have heart wrenching memories of a car accident, but i'm not fully confident they're legitimate because i was so young. i'm terribly afraid they're only "created memories." what i do know is that he suddenly vanished from my life and my mother acted so weird about it. when i would ask her about him, sometimes she said he moved away, other times she said she didn't know who i was talking about and that i was mistaken and had never even known a JE.! i was certain that i had. it was not like me to have imaginary friends as a young child. and still other times, when i would ask her about him, she would look at me and say, "paola, it's a good thing you no longer know him, you two were too close anyway.” a few times she confessed that it was her and my teachers who separated us and put us on different tracks at school so that our socializing skills could more develop more "properly." i do know that we were inseparable and would often seclude ourselves off in a corner and play, not welcoming other children to join us. as i got older, however, she refused to acknowledge that he even existed, though sometimes she'd slip and refer to him quite plainly. it was her bizarre behavior, combined with my memory of a car accident and the continual manifestations from an entity named JE. on the other side, which lead me to believe that my little friend had, in fact, passed away and my mom, not knowing how to explain it to me, fed me all this contradictory stuff that made no sense. it wouldn't be the first time she has lied about something so important.

when i dated JA, he was very secretive about his family, so i don't remember him ever saying he had a brother who died - but then, it would be like him to not mention something like that.

needless to say, i've been in a lot of emotional pain about the issue because i'd like it to be resolved one way or the other so i can put the matter to rest. the spirit i've been in contact with for years now, who i've understood to be JE. from preschool, means everything to me. but i am in deep turmoil not knowing for certain if he is who i think he is: JE., brother of JA, JE., my childhood friend.

as always, thank you for listening to me, Y. you always have a knack for making me feel comfortable opening up to you. i hope you and yours have a great easter holiday, if you celebrate it. :)

namaste,

© 2009 Copyright by Paola Lopez

The Heinous Crimes of Michael Vick

[wednesday, july 29, 2009] two of my friends felt michael vick, the NFL football player, is getting too bad of a rap for his crimes of running a dog fighting ring and being responsible for the deaths of several dogs. in 2007 vick faced felony charges for his actions, was convicted and served less than two years in prison. recently he was released and is now free to rejoin the NFL. the viewpoint my two friends held was that, while crimes against animals are not to be condoned and should be punishable by law, they are nowhere near the severity of human-to-human crimes and should not be prioritized so highly. one friend in particular was upset that so much negative attention was given to vick when there are, in his words, "far more serious crimes being committed on humans," that we should attend to. their comments were in reaction to my facebook status line [posted 7.28.09], which harshly condemned vick for his actions. the following is my response to their comments:



for anyone to make the assumption there are worse crimes in the world than bashing another living creature's head into a wall, merely because it is not a human being, is speaking from a position of nothing more than ubiquitous speciesism; something which never ceases to amaze me. it is an arrogant supposition to repetitively place one's own kind in the center of all suffering.

regarding michael vick "not getting a break," he is already out of prison and free to sign with any NFL team who will take him, which is more than many convicted murderers get, despite him being precisely that, a convicted murderer.

in terms of comparing my status line to the sort of draconian measures taken against those in guantanamo bay - i am generally a pacifist by nature. however, if vick were to enact that sort of violence on a dog right in front of me, i would use whatever means necessary and available to stop him, no less than were he bashing a child into a wall in front of me.

as for my anger being the result of mere misplaced media nudging - hardly. i'm a serious animal rights advocate, have been for years, and strive to hoist human apprehension into accepting animals in equal standing with people. as for the rest of america, R., instead of its anger being unjust and misplaced, i ask you to consider that it is the slow and creaking revelation of a society (both media and the public) who is beginning to identify with animals as having a soulful, thinking, and feeling consciousness. it is *crucial* that this happen in appreciable numbers and inclusive of the media so it will offset the devastating impact that meat and fur consumption, not to mention systemic environmental collapse, continue to have on the world's animal populations.

and the funny thing is, R., in polls, the majority of people *do* feel vick has sufficiently paid for his crimes and want to see no more legal or professional action taken against him. so, it's not exactly like his public image has irreversibly plummeted to the depths unending social ostracization that you assert it has.

if my attitude toward him sounds harsh and unforgiving it is because the power to determine life and death on nearly every living organism on this planet lies within our hands and continues to do so at an exponential rate. our ego-maniacal race kills upwards of 50 BILLION animals a year for food consumption ALONE. this figure does not reflect the multitudes of wildlife species we are decimating by the minute in our mad dash to exploit every pocket of the globe as if it were ours alone. this figure also does not reflect how many millions, if not billions, of animals are taken out gratuitously each year for their fur, tusks or other products. the emotional severity of my status line is in accordance with the dire need to reflect the level of savagery that occurs unthinkingly among our race against other creatures. why would i act beholden to some violent, self-serving millionaire football player who is the living embodiment of values i abhor? why would i curb my emotions or mince my words? i'll stand on the rooftop and scream bloody murder if i have to, if that's what it takes to wake people up. because bloody murder is exactly what he committed.

H. put it quite astutely when he said, "this man's entire life has been founded on violence." football is a violent sport, running a dog fighting ring is a violent action. the likelihood of any genuine rehabilitation having occurred in vick from our current system is small. considering the pathological nature of his violence, the likelihood of his sincere contrition is also equally small. we'll watch whatever repentant pageantry he puts on, most people will be convinced he's a "changed man," and he'll continue to exercise some level of deep seated hostility under the radar if he can help it. it may not be with dog fighting or animal abuse, but that type of violence as evidenced by his actions, does not easily go away. i.e. O.J. simpson. and yes, i do think it's a viable comparison.

this is not to say that having a perpetrator of animal violence doing community service in the name of animal welfare groups is a wasted effort. i actually think it's a great idea - but in this particular case, it services and honors the animals whom he's offended more than it will motivate any deep conscientious change within him. in other cases, i think it would prove more effective at actually initiating a change in consciousness, depending on the person and the case.


© 2009 Copyright by Paola Lopez

Global Warming and Wildlife Extinction

discussion is the first step toward action regarding global warming and the extinction of wildlife. the u.s. is just emerging from a presidency whose 8 yr. regime didn't even acknowledge that global warming existed at all. so awareness and studying of the facts, as we can best determine them, is quite crucial at this stage, as is direct action, but it all starts with discussion and the spreading of vital information.

such discussion should include the well-being of *all* life on this planet, with flora and fauna as wholly principle beings in their own right. alarmingly, much environmental awareness, as it's currently underway, merely focuses on the impact dramatic climate change would have on the world's plant and animal population as it affects us, the human race, not how irreversibly tragic it would be to lose these life forms owing to their own significance.

to an extent, it is understandable that we would be primarily concerned for the welfare of our own species. but so often we put the concerns of our own extinction - whether from global warming, nuclear war or some other method devised to snuff ourselves out in a blaze of glory - above acknowledging the right of animal and plant life to thrive and survive all of these catastophes too. it is because of their innocence, their having done nothing whatsoever to contribute to this murderous mess, because of their helplessness - them having absolutely no defense against what we're doing to them and their surroundings - that i whole-heartedly believe our responsibility lies in an ability to put them first.

the reason i make such a bold statement is because when it comes to the colossal wallop of global warming, there will be no dearth of humans making sure our own protection is paramount and sought after first. relatively speaking, of course. already we see it now; 'going green' is on everyone's mind - from individuals, to corporations, to governments - they'll need to be regularly prodded, of course, and will require oversight from the people to keep them honest and on track (especially corporations and governments). however, what we hear far less often are humans who understand that, because of their vulnerability, animals need *more* help than we do.

by the way, this doesn't mean i think our work is done regarding elevating human consciousness to a point of accepting how much peril we are truly in from global warming. far from it. there is a mountain of work still to be done, but because of people's natural tendency to put their own species first (speciesism) - there will be more people looking after people than will there be people looking after animals.

a good example is katrina. in the wake of that monumental disaster it was incorrigible that people were left so long to suffer and die when they could have been helped earlier. however, when that help did finally arrive, it did not include all the poor pets and animals who had dutifully remained by their owners' side, offering comfort and company throughout the cold, dark nightmare that new orleanians endured. those animals were just as scared, hungry and traumatized as their human counterparts. and they were left to die in even greater numbers. certainly, to some extent this was done as a result of lack of funds and unpreparedness ("no room, we barely have enough to house all the displaced people"). but this type of pathology, as it undoubtedly is, can be corrected if we prioritize *all* life as inherently equal and worthy. and reallocate our wealth accordingly.

according to some accounts, at least 50% of wildlife on this planet is on the verge of extinction. all because of us. not by cause of a single thing the wildlife population did wrong. our extinction is a possibility in the future. their extinction is already happening NOW.


© 2009 Copyright by Paola Lopez